Today’s five years. Five years since he left us.
What has happened in these 5 years is huge, but the idea that he has not been physically here is still shocking to me! I’m that kind of person who can’t believe he passed away. I have the feeling that he is here, somewhere. Maybe not playing in the shows, but that he is backstage every night taking care of the guys, making sure they are having a great time. I have the feeling that he is here. I believe that I feel that because what Clarence brought to the E Street Nation was too big, too fucking big to die, like him.
He brought music to our lives but I have the righteous desire to say that what he played was not music. I mean, whenever I listen Clarence playing the saxophone I recognize him, I do not need to see the video to know that he is blowing the saxo. What I want to say is that hearing Clarence playing is like hearing himself converted into music. Every single note he blew on the saxophone was a piece of soul, a piece of spirit and a piece of love. He completed the E Street Band and created another dimension of music.
I strongly believe he was not from the earth we know. Clarence transmitted peace in every word, preached love in every note and showed soul in every move. He taught us a lesson of life that we will never forget. He was more than a man, more than a musician, more than a saxophonist: he was a Temple of Soul. And we were the lucky pilgrims that could get in.
One of the things that made him epic is the mystery that wrapped him. Clarence always looked like those kind of people with a secret word behind them. He appeared on stage as he knew every thing. He lived as he knew what life is about. And we felt that and admired him for that. The best mystery he created is the night he joined the band. I love this one because only Bruce and C seem to know the truth, the real truth. They say that it was a dark and stormy night, when a little guy was playing on a stage somewhere in Jersey. Then the door of the bar blew off and a majestic and big silhouette bumped into and asked him to play with his band. The little guy could not refuse the proposal from that Big Man.
Isn’t this story amazing? Oh, let me say it better, now this story is HISTORY! I don’t know what happened that stormy night in Jersey, but what is for sure is that that night the stars lined up and every loose end seemed to tie right.
What can I tell more now that has not been told! From that day the Scooter and The Big man have busted this whole entire world in half. They have not finished yet, June 18th 2011 was not the end of their work together. As Bruce himself said: “So I won’t say goodbye to my brother, I’ll simply say, see you in the next life, further on up the road, where we will once again pick up that work, and get it done.”
Do you think that someone as Big as him can vanish and disappear in only one day? I don’t think so. That’s why I am saying that he hasn’t left us yet. The simple act of thinking of him, the simple act of hoping to hear again that “Do I have to say his name?” and then seeing him standing in the right side of the stage looking at the audience. This is what makes him eternal.
Anybody really does not die till the last person who remembers him dies. That’s the reason why I believe he is still here. He is still with us, playing with the angels and blowing that sax from up above but he is still doing it for us. And today we can not cry because it’s over, we must smile because it happened! We must celebrate his life; we must celebrate that he made us feel alive. With his music he took us and carried us home. I don’t have enough words to explain why is he big, I only know he is and will always be.
On days like this I understand what Bruce tried to say by singing “the change was made uptown when the Big Man joined the band”. When the Big Man enters your life, your life changes, you change. And that’s a fantastic thing because you start to feel braver, you start to feel stronger and last but not least, you start to feel.
You are remembered Big Man, you are loved C, you are missed brother.